id be glad to
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
