this beer tastes like vomit already
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
