once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We had to coat check the pizza.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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