I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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