three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
