Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
