dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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