South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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