I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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