I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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