She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
