I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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