Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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