I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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