i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
