The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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