He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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