Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
