Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
