And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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