Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
