If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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