Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
