i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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