Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
