It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
