we have officially lost it.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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