I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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