dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
