I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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