i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she smelled like a LAN party
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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