I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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