dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
