it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
