im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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