She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
