I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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