dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Your dad touched me again.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
