Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
