And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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