Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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