apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
