We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
