I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
