69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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