How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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