I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
