Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
