He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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