guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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