I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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