my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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