I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
That's how pantless uber rides happen
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
